The ups and downs of the last 6 months...

Hello again,

Yes I know its been a little over 6 months since my last post here, though if you follow my instagram you will get regular postings. Though not as personal. 😂

So what's been going on since March, a whole lot, that's what! 

My daughter completed her Junior yr in HS, won 2nd place at her HS end of year talent show and (drum roll please) she made it into All National Honor Ensemble Choir, (NAfME ANHE) which is happening in about two weeks, that's just crazy, huh! 

We found out she made it in mid June, so since then she has been working hard to get all the i's dotted and t's crossed, jump thru hoops, etc... So she can actually go and thank you Jesus, she got everything needed done and turned in and a huge blessing is I also get to go with her. Did I mention it is in Florida and only two HS students from Alaska will be going (my daughter being one if them), very proud mama here. I am so thankful to Jesus for giving her this opportunity, truly all glory and praise goes to Him. 

Well as you can imagine it has been busy here, especially with my daughters Senior year started and getting everything ready for Nationals, plus just the normal stuff that needs to get done day to day.

The ups and downs of the last 6 months... 

I am happy to report more up's than downs. Yay! My diet changes have really helped and so has my new medication. I have lost close to 40lbs (woot, woot) and I am continuing working on being more active and engaged in life. I am still not where I would like to be (so that would be a down), however I am a lot closer to my goals than I was 6 months ago, ( a huge up). I would like to seriously get a job after getting home from Florida. I hope I do not need to much of a down time as it is only getting busier from here on out, with the holiday seasons, school plays and All State just weeks after we get back. 

Since the changes I have made I have more energy and less down times, so I have been slowly conditioning myself for more activity. Which for the most part I am able to do more and have the motivation to work on more. I still catch colds easily and it takes forever to recover (the last one was about a month long!) So working on my immunity is a top on my list as one cold can set me back and derail my goals. 

Its just one day at a time, and not beating myself up if I need some extra time to get my goals done. I trust God has me right were I need to be and will continue guiding and helping me along the way. He has never failed me yet, I just need to remember not to tie His hands and let Him do the steering. Amen!

I am excited about going to Florida with my daughter. I have never been to the east coast and I have family there I haven't seen in years so I am hoping I get to have a nice albeit a short visit with them. So this next two weeks is just getting everything ready for our trip. 

Halloween is also happening the weekend before we leave so that should be fun, I always love dressing up and seeing what fun and scary oitfits the kiddos have on when handing out treats. 🎃

So I pray everyone has a safe holiday and I will do my best to post how All Nationals and Florida went sooner than later, like within the month, 😂. 

Thank you for reading!

God Bless!

~RMM

p.s. I typed this post up on my phone instead of my laptop, so I hope the format turns out okay. :) 

 

Long time, No Post

Wow! It is crazy to think a whole year has gone by with zero posts for 2018 and we are already into the 3rd month of 2019. 

So what happened to 2018? 

My daughter successfully completed her Sophmore year of HS, yay! (And is now about to finish her Junior year, but I digress.) It really was a very busy school year with plays, concerts, and games, oh my. I, on the other hand, don't recall much for myself except my health was up and down as usual. I think I went back to physical therapy for a short while in the spring, the whole year really is just a blur for me. Oh I do recall attempting to go on regular walks but that ended with the winter weather, it was definitely nice while it lasted. In October I did start playing on the Xbox One a lot, really I do love video games and it is easy to play all day especially in the winter months when you don't feel great and are not much up to do anything really physical. Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalgia/Depression etc... all were kicking my butt big time. Also, I probably was still processing my mother's loss and other stressors in my life. 

As I am sure I have mentioned before, stress and my body do not mix at all. It virtually tries to shut down, be it physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual stress, my body treats it all the same. So I have been working with my counselor and doctor on ways to reduce or manage stress and health issues. I can say 2018 has been a year where I have seriously reflected on my overall health (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). I really do hate feeling so helpless and literally having no energy for basic life stuff let alone going out to do the things I use to enjoy. 

2018 wasn't a total stressful year, now that I think about it, last summer was pretty amazing. I had found a new supplement that really helped with my energy level. Church camp was awesome and we also did a lot throughout the summer with VBS, Praise in the Park, Parades, and just enjoying this beautiful small city I live in. I posted quite a bit to Instagram perhaps that is why I did not feel the need to sit and type up posts here. I'll have to look to see if I can link the account or share the content somehow. I love taking pictures so Instagram has been a great way to share my life via pictures.

Well, now I have lost my train of thought yet again, which is no surprise, lol. 

So why am I writing a post after all this time? I feel that I am truly about to start a new chapter in my life and I feel the need to share and document my journey. Which in some ways I have been doing although my posts have been sporadic, it still has helped me to stop and reflect on my life, in the hopes I will learn and grow through the process. Sometimes it has felt like I take 10 steps back and only 3 steps forward, but after re-reading my posts I can see how I have learned and grown. God really has been working with me, even though there were times I felt alone and frustrated, I can really see the progress I have made and see the wonderful support of family and friends that have surrounded me through my ups and downs. 

I will try to keep with the posts and see about linking my Instagram, but I will wrap up this long overdue post for now. Thank you for reading this far and thank you, everyone, for just being there, sending prayers and good thoughts I really do appreciate all of you. And most importantly: 

Thank you, Jesus, for your patience, mercy, hope, and love, I give you all glory and praise, In Jesus name, Amen!

~RMM

I Am Hollow

"I Am Hollow"

I am hollow
without my faith.
Only a mere shadow
of the potential,
lost among the crowd.
Many times in my life
I have forgotten,
I have let faith slip through my hands.
Only tendrils of mist
linger on my fingertips.
Without enough morning dew
to quench a dry lip,
let alone a dehydrated soul.
~RMM 2016

* This poem describes why my faith is so important to me and why I never want my cup to run dry. Thank you Jesus for all that you do in my life.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I so hope everyone had a good holiday season.  

December was especially busy for me. 
It started off  at the begining of the month with our special Banquet event at church, then Rowan's band concert, Christmas play, Christmas service, Jesus's birthday service, Christmas dinner with close friends, caroling, packing, moving, and finally Watch Night service (New Year's Eve). Plus I still had my weekly appointments to attend. Phew.  

No wonder I just did not find the time or energy to sit down and write a blog, the whole month just went by in a blur. 

So here I am a week into January just finally calming down after all the excitement. I got the last bit of our moving/cleaning of the old apartment done on Jan. 3rd, my keys and mail box done by the 5th. I am so releived and thankful that is over! 

It just feels so good starting the new year off in a fresh new place. A great time and opportunity to get good habbits started for a healthier lifestyle in body, mind, & soul. Taking each day one at a time and making sure God is in the forefront of our lives. 

The "bare necessities" are already unpacked. Now I can take my time to unpack and sort through everything else. I do still have some cleaning in the kitchen & bathroom before I can finish unpacking those rooms. Nothing much just wiping down cupoboards and shelves and getting contact paper down. That will be my priority area before I move onto the living/dining room area. My bedroom will eventually fall into place once those other areas get done. Rowan's room is pretty much done and decorated. Which is good since school starts back on Monday Jan. 9th.

Once school starts back up it will be easier to get back onto a regular schedule and finding a routine. One that will hopefully fit with our new surroundings with a healthier lifestyle in mind. I already feel better just being in our new place for a whole week. Not breathing in the smoke, dust, mold, mice debri, and who knows what else, has helped immensely. Also just having the stress removed from the other building feels like a huge weight has been lifted. I still have a long road ahead especially where my health is concerned but I finally feel like I am living in an enviroment that will be of help and not a hinderance.

I will now take a moment to thank Jesus for everything He has done for me throughout this whole process. For the church family He has given me and the help & support they have been. The apartment that was found and now living in, the opportunity to witness to others and share a part of my story & faith with them. The peace, strength, endurance, love and joy that has surrounded me. Thank you Jesus, I love and appreciate you so much! In Jesus name Amen.

Again thank you Reader for taking the time to read my post, until next time...

Take care & God Bless!
~Ryan (RMM)

Give Thanks To A Happy November

Hello and Happy November!!

I totally forgot to post in October, so let me give a recap of the month. 

Ro had her first HS band concert, and wow it was awesome! It really is amazing what those kids learned and accomplished in the 6 to 7 weeks of school. I am really looking forward to the next concert, these kids can play!

I finally heard back about my housing voucher, so I had my intake appointment then I had another appointment that was a brief class on how the vouchers work. Sooo exciting, thank you Jesus!! We have wanted to move out of our small apartment since we moved in. Originally it was just supposed to be temporary until we got settled into the town and established. Well that never really happened, one thing after another happened, and we essential became stuck. 

Not that we weren’t thankful for a roof over our heads and truly it could have been worse, but ultimately this 4plex we call home is not ideal by any means. It is barely affordable, has 2 bedrooms, allows pets, there is a yard, a small deck, a backdoor, and is centrally located, that’s about where the benefits end.  I will not rant at this time about what is wrong with our apartment and the old 4plex building. Let’s just say our apartment would not meet the basic safety and health standards that the housing inspectors look for, so it does not qualify for the housing voucher program, even if the owner would be willing to participate. The whole building would need some mass renovations first! 

Keep us in y0ur prayers and your fingers crossed because we are officially looking for a new home!

My van has officially died, so we are yet again without wheels. This means we are looking for a home that is centrally located, right in town. I won’t go into all the details of what we are looking for. The basics are a 2 bedroom home with a washer and dryer or hook-ups that are open to allow our cat. He is officially my emotional support animal and really he does help me through some of my worse days, so I really can’t bear to part with him.

Let’s see what else happened in October, oh yes Halloween! 

This year it was very low key and mellow. The weather turned out to be very nice for this time of year, so Ro dressed up and went with her friends to do some trick-or-treating around town. I dressed up a little just for fun and went over to a friend’s house to have a nice dinner and watch scary movies. We only got 1 movie in because it took us so long to decide what to watch but we had fun visiting. Since it was a school night Ro got back home by 8:30ish and I got home by 10pm. She was invited to come watch scary movies with us but opted to go home and “chill” instead, teens lol.

That sums up the busy month of October which turned out to be pretty busy and exciting!

So far November looks to be just as busy and exciting. We can’t wait for Thanksgiving, and of course the home hunting continues. As the holiday season gets closer there is much to do at church and of course getting ourselves ready to move. There is just so much to be thankful for this year! 

God is really amazing in how He can work things out especially when you go to Him with all of your cares. He really does help lift that weight off your shoulders. It does not mean things are easy or that you don’t have your own cross to bear; but you no longer have to bear it alone, and the feeling of peace, hope, and love that only God can give through adverse situations or moments is all we really need. He has given me joy unspeakable thru both the bad and good times and truly there are no words to describe what it is like to be that close to God. I am only human and have my moments that I fall and begin to wander off the path, but He is always right there waiting for me to turn my eyes back to Him. Thank you Jesus for everything you have and continue to do in my life, I need you so much and I am just so grateful for your love, peace, hope, mercy, and forgiveness. In Jesus name Amen!   

And thank you Reader for taking the time to read my post, until next time...

Keeping all of you in my prayers & God Bless!
~Ryan (RMM)

September Ends

Hello Again!

As September draws to a close the days are definitely getting colder. Frost welcomes us in the morning and last Friday we had a very crazy hail storm, not to mention I can’t seem to get warm throughout the day. Time to pull out the warm leggings to wear under everything before I freeze! In all, it really has been a long month.

The highlight of the month had to be my daughter having her first Homecoming. It was so much fun helping her pick out a dress and get ready for the dance. She looked absolutely amazing! One of her friends hosted a dinner for a group of us, the moms and daughters, so we could all help the girls before they left for the dance. Of course we had a photo shoot once they were all ready. I heard one of her friends whisper, “she looks like a goddess,” when we were taking photos; her dress was white and with her dark complexion it really stood out. Such a beautiful young lady, I was the proud mama that day!

The toughest part of the month was when public assistance was way behind on their renewal process which left us without medical or food benefits for the first half of the month, (talk about anxiety). As a result I ended up close to a month of being without my thyroid medicine, I felt like a sloth! The whole thing was a real headache, after calling and leaving messages I finally had to go down to see them which took two days. The first day was so packed that they were turning people away and this was before noon! So I went back the next day early in the morning and was able to get an appointment the same day and three hours later I found out the reason why there was no renewal was that they were still processing papers from July!  

The whole thing reminded me of the scene from Zootopia, the sloths working at the DMV, the irony; I can laugh about it now, but I was getting really stressed out for a while, lol. Another big thing happened is that I finally received my disability packet forms to fill out which had a two week time frame, I was able to get an extra two week extension and got them finished with a week to spare, (woohoo!). If you know me, you would know certain paperwork causes me a lot of anxiety, and yup this packet was one of those kinds, so I feel pretty accomplished that I finished it up before the deadline. Though I will admit I could not even start on the packet until I got the whole public assistances worked out, basic needs always come first. Though my anxiety and mood was touch and go at points, God is right there. I am so grateful and thankful to my Lord Jesus, I know He is always ready to help hold me up when I need it. In Jesus name Amen! 

Phew! I am glad this month is almost at a close. My next hurdles are housing and getting back into physical therapy. Oh and I am looking forward to Halloween! Really I think I am just a big kid at heart, who doesn’t like dressing up and getting free candy? I also enjoy a good scary movie, not the gross gory kind or the ones that leave you with a bad feeling in the spirit, but the kind that can give you a good jump scare  and maybe a small case of heebie jeebies that you can laugh about later. Does anyone have any good scary or suspenseful movie recommendations or even any good books?

Okay so on that note I will say goodbye, 

Take care & God Bless!

~Ryan (RMM)

***Here is a nice clip for you to enjoy and if you have not watch the full movie I highly recomend it!

There's a snake in my boot!

Without going into too much detail, the last few weeks have been extremely difficult one way or another. Things have definitely been sneaking up to bite me in the foot, bum, and every where! I know this is mosquito season but c'mon!

Truly though the bites I am referring to are figurative ones. I am ashamed to say I have acted very poorly and will leave it at that. I do not want to start cycling into negative thought patterns, I do that enough already without realizing. So yup I stuck my foot in my boot without looking and found a snake, ouch!

Now l am blogging, hopefully not butchering metaphors and probably making very little sense.

Don't worry I have since been to my counselor and more importantly church. Just trying to process and gain some clarity.

I may not have control over certain things but I can help what I stay focused on. If I let my mind wander away from the positive things and away from God, that's when things get really bad. It just takes that one second to spin out of control, which is something I am learning. Also, knowing what your suppose to be doing and actually being able to do it, are two very different things.

Yes I do have physical, emotional, & mental health conditions I have to learn how to cope & manage with, it's when I let it get to me and stray from God that things become unbearable.

Now, I am getting ready for church camp this week, it is very much needed! I do not want to miss what God has planned.  I know there will be a lot of learning, growing, & blessings waiting this Fourth of July weekend. I do hope all of you have a safe and blessed week, Happy 4th!

God Bless!

~Ryan (RMM)

Thank you Jesus for your mercy and understanding, I love you and do not want to fall short in this race, and Lord help me to endure and give me the strength and rest I need to continue on. In Jesus name Amen!

Review: The Thompson-Chain Reference Study Bible-KJV

The Thompson-Chain Reference Study Bible-KJV by Anonymous
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This bible was a gift back in 2011 and I will say it has been one of the best gifts ever! I love God's word, each time you read a whole new layer comes to light!

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