Long time, No Post

Wow! It is crazy to think a whole year has gone by with zero posts for 2018 and we are already into the 3rd month of 2019. 

So what happened to 2018? 

My daughter successfully completed her Sophmore year of HS, yay! (And is now about to finish her Junior year, but I digress.) It really was a very busy school year with plays, concerts, and games, oh my. I, on the other hand, don't recall much for myself except my health was up and down as usual. I think I went back to physical therapy for a short while in the spring, the whole year really is just a blur for me. Oh I do recall attempting to go on regular walks but that ended with the winter weather, it was definitely nice while it lasted. In October I did start playing on the Xbox One a lot, really I do love video games and it is easy to play all day especially in the winter months when you don't feel great and are not much up to do anything really physical. Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalgia/Depression etc... all were kicking my butt big time. Also, I probably was still processing my mother's loss and other stressors in my life. 

As I am sure I have mentioned before, stress and my body do not mix at all. It virtually tries to shut down, be it physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual stress, my body treats it all the same. So I have been working with my counselor and doctor on ways to reduce or manage stress and health issues. I can say 2018 has been a year where I have seriously reflected on my overall health (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). I really do hate feeling so helpless and literally having no energy for basic life stuff let alone going out to do the things I use to enjoy. 

2018 wasn't a total stressful year, now that I think about it, last summer was pretty amazing. I had found a new supplement that really helped with my energy level. Church camp was awesome and we also did a lot throughout the summer with VBS, Praise in the Park, Parades, and just enjoying this beautiful small city I live in. I posted quite a bit to Instagram perhaps that is why I did not feel the need to sit and type up posts here. I'll have to look to see if I can link the account or share the content somehow. I love taking pictures so Instagram has been a great way to share my life via pictures.

Well, now I have lost my train of thought yet again, which is no surprise, lol. 

So why am I writing a post after all this time? I feel that I am truly about to start a new chapter in my life and I feel the need to share and document my journey. Which in some ways I have been doing although my posts have been sporadic, it still has helped me to stop and reflect on my life, in the hopes I will learn and grow through the process. Sometimes it has felt like I take 10 steps back and only 3 steps forward, but after re-reading my posts I can see how I have learned and grown. God really has been working with me, even though there were times I felt alone and frustrated, I can really see the progress I have made and see the wonderful support of family and friends that have surrounded me through my ups and downs. 

I will try to keep with the posts and see about linking my Instagram, but I will wrap up this long overdue post for now. Thank you for reading this far and thank you, everyone, for just being there, sending prayers and good thoughts I really do appreciate all of you. And most importantly: 

Thank you, Jesus, for your patience, mercy, hope, and love, I give you all glory and praise, In Jesus name, Amen!

~RMM

Catching Up

It has been ages since my last post.

The last few months have seemed like years. I don't even remember what happened in February and March! 

April and May were very emotionally hard. First I lost my mother and then a good friend all within weeks of each other just after Resurrection. It still seems all surreal though and probably will for some time. 

Visiting family and spending time with my sisters and brother was much needed and overdue. We are all going to try and not be such strangers and let so much time slip by before visiting. It had been 6yrs since either my daughter and myself had seen them last, that is just too long! God really blessed our trip, thank you, Jesus!

June was a bit crazy unpacking and recovering from our trip to Washington, then repacking and getting things ready for our annual church camp retreat. Not to mention during that time we discovered a huge leak in one of the bedroom closest from the neighbors upstairs bathroom. Thankfully the substitute landlady was able to get it taken care of right away, I forgot to add we discovered the leak just a day after our landlord left the country on vacation. 

July started off with a bang, (pun totally intended). Church Camp was amazing as always and so needing for healing and nurturing. By the time we arrived home we were completely exhausted. And of course, between my daughter and myself, we have been sick the last two weeks on and off. We still need to get the closet painted wanting to wait until after we got back from camp. Now that July is coming to a close we are trying to enjoy the last remnants of summer and gearing up for the school year. I am already tired thinking about it. 

I hope everyone has had a good summer and 4th of July!

Thank you for reading and God Bless!
~Ryan (RMM)

There's a snake in my boot!

Without going into too much detail, the last few weeks have been extremely difficult one way or another. Things have definitely been sneaking up to bite me in the foot, bum, and every where! I know this is mosquito season but c'mon!

Truly though the bites I am referring to are figurative ones. I am ashamed to say I have acted very poorly and will leave it at that. I do not want to start cycling into negative thought patterns, I do that enough already without realizing. So yup I stuck my foot in my boot without looking and found a snake, ouch!

Now l am blogging, hopefully not butchering metaphors and probably making very little sense.

Don't worry I have since been to my counselor and more importantly church. Just trying to process and gain some clarity.

I may not have control over certain things but I can help what I stay focused on. If I let my mind wander away from the positive things and away from God, that's when things get really bad. It just takes that one second to spin out of control, which is something I am learning. Also, knowing what your suppose to be doing and actually being able to do it, are two very different things.

Yes I do have physical, emotional, & mental health conditions I have to learn how to cope & manage with, it's when I let it get to me and stray from God that things become unbearable.

Now, I am getting ready for church camp this week, it is very much needed! I do not want to miss what God has planned.  I know there will be a lot of learning, growing, & blessings waiting this Fourth of July weekend. I do hope all of you have a safe and blessed week, Happy 4th!

God Bless!

~Ryan (RMM)

Thank you Jesus for your mercy and understanding, I love you and do not want to fall short in this race, and Lord help me to endure and give me the strength and rest I need to continue on. In Jesus name Amen!