Journaling Blues

 Hello Again!

It has been a few years since I last visited my blog, (not ideal, right?). I have more or less treated this blog as a personal journal, which I am not very consistent at, period. I do go through phases, and I do love writing (despite the lack thereof), I have my ups and downs (don't we all). I thought a blog would be a good place for me to practice what I love and share my life along the way. The problem with that is unless I am at school. or work with deadlines and assignments, well setting my own personal time to write just goes right out the window. I have my moments where I am dedicated, but then something comes up, I get sick, busy, writer's block, etc... and well the habit of writing each day just fizzles away. I am sure I am not alone in this, but this is not good especially if I would legitimately like to make writing a part of my career. I am not good with the regular 9-5 jobs, for a few reasons, the main my health has not been consistent over the last 13yrs. Consistency has not been my friend, ever. I am a lifelong truant when it comes to the ole' 9-5, just go back and ask any of my school teachers and employers. "She is a great student if she would be in class and show up on time..."; "She is a great worker, only if she could be on time and not call in so much..." is the story of my life. I am now 45, I do have some college under my belt with an AAS degree, and I was able to get a decent G.P.A. of 3.6 (meaning I got mostly A's & B's, Woo Hoo!) but after that what do I have to offer? 

Professionally not a whole lot in the portfolio. I do have lots, of life experience, lots of odd jobs I have done over the years, lots of reading, and personal education on health and well-being, and also just being a mom (well that is a whole other blog in and of itself, lol!). I do love learning new things, the conventional way just doesn't suit me very much. I am very much an outside-of-the-box person, that has always marched to my own beat (which my daughter will tell you is always off-beat and out of tune!). So, where am I going with this, I had to stop and think, to get back on track,(I am notorious for going on tangents when it comes to personally relaying information/storytelling). I am good at writing and always have been. I may not have a lot of professional articles or samples to display, but I can always start making some. It would be difficult to go back to all the various writing assignments and personal blurbs I have done in the past, so why not start fresh? This is my journey and I have seen no rules anywhere that say you can not start new. If you read the bible (which I highly encourage everyone to do) it says to renew your mind daily, to become a new person (in God), this is not so very much different from that, this is just geared to where I would like my career. I always enjoy finding regular everyday life analogies that fit so well with the bible.

It does mean a little bit more elbow grease, but that has never scared me away. In fact, I think I am up for the challenge, I know I can be my own worst enemy, but I think it is time to start being my own best cheerleader instead. No more journaling blues, I will keep this blog and use it to practice and publish something once a week. I think that is a fair attainable starting goal, to begin. With that said, this post will be the first of many to come on this new journey of mine. Some posts may be more personal and reflective, and some may be article samples or even bible studies, the point is to write and get more practice writing. I will publish, not knowing if I have anyone interested in reading what I have to say, but that is not the goal. If you are reading this, thank you! I know time is precious, so, thank you for taking the time to read and I am always open to feedback. Just to clarify, feedback is not negative bashing, it is positive encouragement and criticism. With that in mind, please feel free to let me know how I am doing on my writing journey.

Take Care and God Bless!

~Ryan 

The ups and downs of the last 6 months...

Hello again,

Yes I know its been a little over 6 months since my last post here, though if you follow my instagram you will get regular postings. Though not as personal. 😂

So what's been going on since March, a whole lot, that's what! 

My daughter completed her Junior yr in HS, won 2nd place at her HS end of year talent show and (drum roll please) she made it into All National Honor Ensemble Choir, (NAfME ANHE) which is happening in about two weeks, that's just crazy, huh! 

We found out she made it in mid June, so since then she has been working hard to get all the i's dotted and t's crossed, jump thru hoops, etc... So she can actually go and thank you Jesus, she got everything needed done and turned in and a huge blessing is I also get to go with her. Did I mention it is in Florida and only two HS students from Alaska will be going (my daughter being one if them), very proud mama here. I am so thankful to Jesus for giving her this opportunity, truly all glory and praise goes to Him. 

Well as you can imagine it has been busy here, especially with my daughters Senior year started and getting everything ready for Nationals, plus just the normal stuff that needs to get done day to day.

The ups and downs of the last 6 months... 

I am happy to report more up's than downs. Yay! My diet changes have really helped and so has my new medication. I have lost close to 40lbs (woot, woot) and I am continuing working on being more active and engaged in life. I am still not where I would like to be (so that would be a down), however I am a lot closer to my goals than I was 6 months ago, ( a huge up). I would like to seriously get a job after getting home from Florida. I hope I do not need to much of a down time as it is only getting busier from here on out, with the holiday seasons, school plays and All State just weeks after we get back. 

Since the changes I have made I have more energy and less down times, so I have been slowly conditioning myself for more activity. Which for the most part I am able to do more and have the motivation to work on more. I still catch colds easily and it takes forever to recover (the last one was about a month long!) So working on my immunity is a top on my list as one cold can set me back and derail my goals. 

Its just one day at a time, and not beating myself up if I need some extra time to get my goals done. I trust God has me right were I need to be and will continue guiding and helping me along the way. He has never failed me yet, I just need to remember not to tie His hands and let Him do the steering. Amen!

I am excited about going to Florida with my daughter. I have never been to the east coast and I have family there I haven't seen in years so I am hoping I get to have a nice albeit a short visit with them. So this next two weeks is just getting everything ready for our trip. 

Halloween is also happening the weekend before we leave so that should be fun, I always love dressing up and seeing what fun and scary oitfits the kiddos have on when handing out treats. 🎃

So I pray everyone has a safe holiday and I will do my best to post how All Nationals and Florida went sooner than later, like within the month, 😂. 

Thank you for reading!

God Bless!

~RMM

p.s. I typed this post up on my phone instead of my laptop, so I hope the format turns out okay. :) 

 

Long time, No Post

Wow! It is crazy to think a whole year has gone by with zero posts for 2018 and we are already into the 3rd month of 2019. 

So what happened to 2018? 

My daughter successfully completed her Sophmore year of HS, yay! (And is now about to finish her Junior year, but I digress.) It really was a very busy school year with plays, concerts, and games, oh my. I, on the other hand, don't recall much for myself except my health was up and down as usual. I think I went back to physical therapy for a short while in the spring, the whole year really is just a blur for me. Oh I do recall attempting to go on regular walks but that ended with the winter weather, it was definitely nice while it lasted. In October I did start playing on the Xbox One a lot, really I do love video games and it is easy to play all day especially in the winter months when you don't feel great and are not much up to do anything really physical. Chronic Fatigue/Fibromyalgia/Depression etc... all were kicking my butt big time. Also, I probably was still processing my mother's loss and other stressors in my life. 

As I am sure I have mentioned before, stress and my body do not mix at all. It virtually tries to shut down, be it physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual stress, my body treats it all the same. So I have been working with my counselor and doctor on ways to reduce or manage stress and health issues. I can say 2018 has been a year where I have seriously reflected on my overall health (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual). I really do hate feeling so helpless and literally having no energy for basic life stuff let alone going out to do the things I use to enjoy. 

2018 wasn't a total stressful year, now that I think about it, last summer was pretty amazing. I had found a new supplement that really helped with my energy level. Church camp was awesome and we also did a lot throughout the summer with VBS, Praise in the Park, Parades, and just enjoying this beautiful small city I live in. I posted quite a bit to Instagram perhaps that is why I did not feel the need to sit and type up posts here. I'll have to look to see if I can link the account or share the content somehow. I love taking pictures so Instagram has been a great way to share my life via pictures.

Well, now I have lost my train of thought yet again, which is no surprise, lol. 

So why am I writing a post after all this time? I feel that I am truly about to start a new chapter in my life and I feel the need to share and document my journey. Which in some ways I have been doing although my posts have been sporadic, it still has helped me to stop and reflect on my life, in the hopes I will learn and grow through the process. Sometimes it has felt like I take 10 steps back and only 3 steps forward, but after re-reading my posts I can see how I have learned and grown. God really has been working with me, even though there were times I felt alone and frustrated, I can really see the progress I have made and see the wonderful support of family and friends that have surrounded me through my ups and downs. 

I will try to keep with the posts and see about linking my Instagram, but I will wrap up this long overdue post for now. Thank you for reading this far and thank you, everyone, for just being there, sending prayers and good thoughts I really do appreciate all of you. And most importantly: 

Thank you, Jesus, for your patience, mercy, hope, and love, I give you all glory and praise, In Jesus name, Amen!

~RMM